Having effective communication skills is considered to be one of the keys to leading a successful life. Communication is an important activity that we do everyday. A study reported by D.K. Burlow in “The Process of Communication,” states that the average American spends 70% of their active hours each day communicating verbally. With the inability to communicate this hinders an effective leader to be able to show his/her vision and have their people act on their vision. Most people learn how to communicate at a young age and begin to develop their communication in time with life experiences. Effective communication skills are usually not learned for most people in their life experiences, like any other skill this is learned through proper training, determination and practice.
Listen skills play a very important part in having effective communication skills. When having a conversation with someone you want to listen to that person with concentration, nothing worst than having someone repeating themselves. This allows you also to have a good understanding of what that person is saying. Most people generally focus on what they have to say instead of what the other person is saying, this sometimes creates a misunderstanding on both sides and the conversation goes nowhere. Also when you listen to what the other person is saying this will make that person feel good and will be more responsive to what you have to say.
To have effective communication skills you want to be able to control your emotions. Negative emotions are the major emotions you want to be able to control. When someone says something you disagree with or not to your likings, you don’t want to get angry. You don’t want someone else’s action to control your reaction, control your own reactions. Try to find a compromise that makes both sides happy because once you become defensive or angry the other person will most likely do the same.
Always be ready and willing to handle objections or rejections when they come. You never want to assume that what you’re saying will always be right or the only answer and solution. You want to have an open mind, be mentally prepared for objection and not to get defensive right away. Always keep an open mind, it is possible you can be wrong or there could be possibly more than one right answer.
Having good body language is one of the top characteristics of an effective communicator. People are more visual and will base opinions or first impressions by observing how you communicate. Smiling always brings out a warm feeling when communicating with someone and opens a person up in wanting to communicate with you. Nobody wants to talk to someone who is frowning or just looks miserable. Be able to control your tone and body movements, this makes an impact on a person more than your words will. Mastering these skills will help you achieve your goal in becoming an effective communicator.
When communication is one sided that’s when a problem develops. Here is an example with a frustrated judge preparing to hear a divorce case and effective communication skills were not put to use:
“Why do you want a divorce?” the judge asked. “On what grounds?”
“All over. We have an acre and a half.” Responded the woman.
“No, no,” said the judge. “Do you have a grudge?”
“Yes, sir. Fits two cars.”
“I need a reason for the divorce,” said the judge impatiently.
“Does he beat you up?”
“Oh, no. I’m up at six every day to do my exercises. He gets up late.”
“Please,” said the exasperated judge. “What is the reason you want a divorce?”‘
“Oh,” she replied. “We can’t seem to communicate with each other”