Numerous research projects have long shown that physical touch is a way of communicating emotional love. In the area of child development, we understand that babies who are held, hugged and kissed develop a healthier emotional life than those who are left for long periods of time without physical contact. The importance of touching is not a modern idea. As history holds, in the first century, the Hebrews living in Palestine recognized Jesus as a great teacher, brought their children to him to have a touch with them. Physical touch is a powerful vehicle for communicating emotional love. Holding hands, embracing, kissing and sexual intercourse are all ways of communicating emotional love to one’s spouse. For some individuals, it’s their primary love language. When they are not touched, they feel unloved. When they are touched, their emotional tank is filled, and they feel secured in the love of their spouse.
Sexual intercourse, however, is only an aspect in love language of physical touch. Of the five languages, touching unlike the other four is not limited to one localized area of the body, as tiny perceptible receptors are located throughout the body. This is why communication is very important in any relationship. It gives us insight on, where to touch and how. When those receptors are pressed or touched, nerves communicate impulses or messages and we perceive that the thing that touched us is cold or warm, strong or soft. It gives response of pleasure or pain. It could also be interpreted as loving or hostile. Physical touch can make or break a relationship. It can communicate love or hate to the wife or husband whose primary love language is physical touch. A tender hug shouts love to your spouse especially when her primary love language is touching. Once you understand this, you are limited only by your imagination on ways to express love. In marriage, the touch of love may take many forms since touch receptors are located throughout the body. Love touch may be explicit and demands your full attention such as in a back rub or sexual foreplay, culminating in intercourse. On the other hand, love touch may be implicit and requires only a moment, such as putting your hand on his shoulder as you pour a cup of tea or rubbing your body against him as you pass each other. Whatever time, resources or energy you spend learning how to touch your loved ones and understanding the effects, it is worth it.
However, your best instructor is your spouse. He or She is the one you are seeking to love. She knows best what she perceives as a loving touch. This is why you must no insist on touching her in your own way and time. Learn to speak your spouse love dialects. Your spouse may find some touches irritating or uncomfortable. To insist on such touch, means you are not sensitive to her needs and that you care little about her perception of what is pleasant. Implicit love touch as the name sounds requires little time but much thought, especially if physical touch is not your primary love language. Sitting close to each other on the couch as you watch Television requires no additional time but it communicates your love loudly. Touching your spouse as you walk through the room, touching each other when you leave the house and again when you return may involve only a brief kiss or hug but will speak volumes to your spouse. Even in the moment of cries, the most important thing you can do for your partner is show love through the love language he or she understands. If her primary love language is physical touch, nothing is more important than holding her as she cries. What you say may mean little but the touch will communicate that you care.
Some Principles of Physical Touch The following are some principles of physical touch you can implement. 1. Go and sit beside your spouse as she watches television, initiate a shoulder message. Continue this for 3 minutes unless he or she stops you. 2. While eating together, let your foot slips over and touch your spouse. 3. As you walk to the super market, reach out and hold your spouse’s hand. 4. Inside car with your spouse, reach over and touch your spouse. 5. At home or in the church, always hold your spouse’s hand and pray together. 6. Run the water in the Jacuzzi and announce to your spouse to join you. In the Jacuzzi, rub her feet gently while you look at her straight the eyes. 7. When family and friends are visiting. In their presence, touch your spouse. A hug, placing your hands on her shoulder as you talk to him or her can earn you double emotional points. 8. When he or she arrives at home, meet him or her and give him or her big hug and kiss. 9. Initiate sex by giving your spouse a foot message. Continue to other parts of the body s long as it brings pleasure to your spouse. 10. Always communicate with your spouse to know which parts of the body give her pleasure when touched.
There are many more, and it only takes common sense to figure out when, where and how.