The questions is, how to save a marriage after an affair when you have just discovered the man you love has been unfaithful. You most likely feel your whole world had been shattered. Confusion, devastation, depression, and anger are common feelings to battle on a minute to minute basis. It’s impossible to make any sound decisions about your future and the future of your marriage when you’re in such turmoil. Before making any long-term life altering decisions, you need to be as calm and clear minded as possible.
Here are 10 stress reducing tips to help you save a marriage after an affair.
1. Let yourself feel your emotions. Cry, be angry and depressed. Express your feelings before they fester within you. Sadness, anger, and anxiety about your future are all normal and natural feelings to have in the situation you are in. Acknowledge your feelings. Give them a voice. You need to do this before you can begin the healing process and decide how to save your marriage after an affair.
2. Talk. Talk to trusted friends, family members, your family doctor or a professional therapist. Accept the help and support of the people who love and care about you.
3. Eat healthy. I know, this is hard to do in the best of times, but right now eating a healthy diet is essential to keeping your immune system functioning and helping your mind feel balanced. Try to reduce sugar and caffeine, which can both cause anxiety. Drinking too much alcohol can increase depression. Now is not the time to binge on fatty/sugary food or alcohol, and it’s also not the time for crash diets. Eat full meals and take care of yourself.
4. Exercise. Regular exercise can increase endorphins and has been proven to reduce stress. You don’t have to run a marathon, just get out there and do something physical that you enjoy. Walk, hike, play tennis, bowl, anything to get you moving will help you feel better and more in control.
5. Sleep. Too little sleep is detrimental to your state of mind as well as to how well your body copes with stress. Start a relaxing bedtime routine and go to sleep at the same time each and every night. Read a book or take a bath. Relaxation tapes are a great way to calm down before bed. Keep your bedroom dark and cool and your bed comfy.
6. Seek help. Books, online resources, workshops, support groups or professional therapy are all essential tools when discovering how to save a marriage after an affair. Your chances of saving your marriage without some form of help or aid is greatly diminished, so don’t take that responsibility upon yourself. Seek out some form of advice and help.
7. Spend time with friends and family. Take time to do things you like with the people you love. Go to the movies, a bookstore or antique shopping. Make sure not to isolate yourself during this tumultuous time. You need the love and compassion of your friends and family.
8. Pamper yourself. Go get the new haircut you’ve always wanted to try or purchase those sexy jeans or a new dress. Pamper yourself with things you don’t usually take the time to do for yourself. How about a spa day or even just a long bubble bath? Taking care of yourself and putting yourself first will help build your self-esteem and help you to realize that you ARE important and worthwhile.
9. Develop new and old interests. Did you used to enjoy painting pictures or photography? Have you always wanted to try yoga or horseback riding? Now is the time to develop interests in your life that are yours and yours alone. Do something you enjoy just for you.
10. Have patience. Be kind to yourself and realize that healing takes time. Discovering how to save a marriage after an affair is possibly the hardest thing you will ever do. But You CAN do it! The key is not ignoring your own needs.
As difficult as it may be, these 10 tips will help you save your marriage after an affair by reducing the stressful feelings and anxiety you are sure to be feeling. Taking care of your mind, body and soul is the most important thing you can do for yourself before moving on to repair and rebuild your marriage.